My number one goal and number one desire in my heart at this point in my life and awakening journey is to live with more meaning and purpose. On the inside a lot of my days feel like I’m just going through empty motions, that I haven’t been following my internal compass and haven’t been doing things from the soul, from the universal energy that is in everything including me and there’s been a lot of internal blockage in there that I’m slowly trying to unravel. And so to get into touch with my inner spirit, I’ve focused on most importantly being more present in each moment, channeling a sense of gratitude and acceptance in everything I do. That’s still the biggest and most important thing I can do. But there’s also one more thing I want to start doing in order to begin to uncover what my purpose here is and be able to take action in that direction to hopefully express that and manifest that in the external world too.
What I also want to start doing is to start paying more attention to the moments where I AM operating from a joyful place, where I am “lit up”. Moments where time flies by, moments where I feel connected to others from a deeper place. The honest truth is right now I don’t have so many of those moments. But I know it’s in there in me and I just need to give it some attention and space to come out. It’s another form of presence I guess and maybe only now in my process do I have the internal space to allow for this. So I’m excited to see what I do notice from here on out.
And another key point here…it’s important here to remember not to grab onto to any of these things as another disguise and identity for the ego. I’ve done that a few times I think with various things — I want so badly to grab a new identity and fill up my identity tank with something. But no, it has to come from the right place inside. The difference here is a shift in perspective. Before, I’d always be in the mindset of what can I get from this role or thing, or what can I take or what does it give me. But again, no. From here on out my questions are going to be…what makes me come alive inside? what can I give?
May I continue to be in touch with my inner presence and spirit more and more each day and trust this journey and process.