This morning, I had a small epiphany…and it was really such a small, tiny thing, but to me, it was a good baby step for me towards learning to prioritizing self-care and slowing down to find joy in my everyday life.  

I was at my optometrist right at 9am today, when they opened, to pick up the contacts I had ordered. My optometrist is right above a local Persian supermarket and outside was a display of beautiful persimmons, one of my favorite fall fruits. I caught myself thinking, “Oh, I should pick some up”, but also in the back of my head a familiar, little nagging voice telling me that it was already past 9 am and I needed to rush and get to work ASAP and I should just forget about it.

I caught myself thinking these thoughts and I stopped myself. Picking up a few persimmons would take a matter of a few minutes…why wouldn’t I just do it? I recognized the familiar and constant voice saying I needed to rush to get to where I was expected to be. I recognized the feeling of being so consumed and weighed down by work and life obligations as if it was the most important thing in life, and the feeling of fear at the thought of letting others down. In reality, I know the weight and heaviness of it all is just in my head. It feels like a lot of my life I’ve been so heavily focused on what is expected of me and “getting through” it in order to get to where I’m supposed to be next and where I’m expected to be. It’s not a good way to live and appreciate life. Anyone feel the same?

So today, I went into the store and picked out a few  persimmons. I took my time to pause and notice how pretty they were, how smooth they felt in my hand. I noticed the interesting shape of the leaves and the gorgeous shades of orange, embodying the beauty of Fall.

Such a simple thing to happen today, but it felt good to stop and have this small epiphany about myself so I can better learn to pause more and appreciate my everyday life . Anyone else out there on baby steps toward self-care and finding the joy in each moment?

“…the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.” – Eckhart Tolle

(Photofrom my Instagram)